RECOVERY CHRONICLES II
Thursday, Nov. 10, 2011 (7:30 am)
I started off the morning with a broken tooth! Great timing stupid tooth! Emptied drain tubes on Betty and applied anti-biotic cream to stitched areas. Betty’s feeling really lethargic today. Am gone for over an hour to fix the tooth.
(11:09 am)
Return home and start lunch. Betty gets sick after lunch. Runs a fever and throws up for the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon. Doctor thinks she caught a “bug” in the hospital. Finally get a prescription called in to the pharmacy and get the craziness to subside. Things get a little better, then a little bleaker. As we level off, we get a call from the oncologist. It appears they have discovered a small nodule on Betty’s lung. Too small to biopsy, but definitely something to be concerned about. Reminded of Psalms 142:5 “Then I pray to you, O Lord, you are my place of refuge. You are all I really want in life.” I’ve always been astounded by the fact that God gives us “peace that passes understanding.” People often ask me to explain that phrase. I simply say that I cannot, because it “passes my understanding!” I am not able to comprehend how I am at rest in the storm, but I can still get in on it without worrying about how it is possible. He is our refuge of rest.
(8:45 pm) We pray, cry a little and rest in Him.
Please continue to lift Betty up to the Lord. She’s my favorite wife. She’s been my girl for most of my life. I almost don’t remember life before her. Betty says she is honored that God would trust her with this illness. She wants the Lord to receive the Glory in it. That is one of the many reasons way she is loved so dearly by me. Thank you for interceding on her behalf. God bless.
RECOVERY CHRONICLES
Tuesday, Nov. 8, 2011. (6:45 pm)
We’re home after surgery. Doctor says that he thinks he as gotten most all of the cancer. Can never be totally sure though. Follow-up treatment to come. Betty has tubes that must be attended to by me. Medicine must be given at a certain time and certain things are to be sterilized at a certain time. I’m just trying to keep up. I also need to feed both of us and keep both of us clean along with keeping the house clean at the same time. I don’t know if I’m capable of being so “clean.” I’m trying for Betty’s sake to act like I know what I’m doing, but we’ve been married for so long that she can see right through the outer shell. I’m pretty sure she’s fearful for her safety under my complete control, but she’s trying not to act like it.
Wednesday, Nov. 9, 2011 (9:56 am)
Time for her first shower and the water heater conveniently goes out. Great timing stupid appliance! Will work on it after lunch. Betty said she enjoyed her cold shower. It was refreshing and eye opening at the same time says she. Wow, what a trooper ! We’re clean now and our tubes have been attended to. Time for lunch.
(12:21 pm)
While heating up a famous brand “cup of soup,” it explodes in the microwave! Betty says it’s never happened to her but sweetly comes back and says that she sees how it could happen. Finally got her some lunch but she says that she can only do Wolf Brand Chili for a couple of days and she’ll need maybe a different style of cuisine for noon time. Double mastectomy only yesterday and she’s still not panicked that I’m in charge!
(3:18pm)
Betty is very relieved when her sunday school class shows up with food that was not chili. Lots of calls from friends. She talks to them all. Her voice changes and her face brightens though when the boys call.
(4:31 pm)
Time for more meds and tube business. Learning as we go. Prayer from friends is helping. Will start dinner in a little bit. Have put the chili back in the pantry. Maybe tomorrow.
SURGERY DAY
Today, at 5 pm my sweet wife Betty undergoes surgery for breast cancer. Thank you to all who have and are praying for her. The churches I’ve been in for the last few weeks have valiantly prayed and lifted her up to the father. I am overwhelmed by their care and concern. Two weeks ago, First Baptist in Coleman laid hands on me and prayed for Betty to be made whole. When I stepped out on the podium at West Houston United Methodist church last week, nearly every woman, child, and yes, man, was wearing pink to show their support and prayers for Betty. Yesterday, the pastor at Calvary Baptist in Rosenberg prayed for Betty’s healing in such a way that he believed it was already accomplished. He was simply thanking God for it. I like faith! I spoke to the Huntsville Independent School District earlier this year. The wonderful superintendent there sent a mass email to the entire district last week to inform them of Betty’s condition and to be remembering her in prayer. Churches, individuals, and companies have called and written to tell us that they are joining us in prayer for this unique time that we are traveling through. There is such a sense of peace and joy in knowing that we are not alone in this. Not only does God walk with us and in us, but His people are there, constantly reminding Him of us. How precious is this time! Today, again, I let my petition be made known to the Lord. I pray for Betty’s healing. For her recovery. For clear scans. And then, I’ll thank him for the blessed support shown by our spiritual family. Folks who’ve lifted us up and invested their time in us to the Father. Thank you, thank you, thank you. We are loved and it is wondrous.
TEARS IN A BOTTLE
Our youngest son was diagnosed with brain cancer at the age of 16 months. Given only months to live, he was prayed for by many. He is now 27 years old, married to a wonderful girl and doing great. Since that time I have had a catch phrase that comes up often. When some type of trouble crops up in our lives, I make the statement, “Well at least it’s not cancer.” That phrase won’t fit this time. My precious wife of 38 years has been diagnosed with breast cancer. Betty undergoes surgery this next week to remove the tumors. She will have a double mastectomy and follow-up treatment. Regardless of your walk with God, our human side kicks in at once when physical tragedy strikes. Will she die? Has it spread to other parts of her body? Can they find it all? Can it be treated? What doctors do we use? All of the possible scenarios ran through my head like a horror movie in fast forward. Then, because we are in Christ, peace began to trickle down like water through hardened parched earth. We went to our knees and were overcome by the calmness that invaded our being. Instant panic was replaced with comfort and rest. We fell on our faces and simply asked God to do a miracle. I must admit, I am praying for healing for Betty. Until God changes my heart, I will let my petition be made known to Him. We have that right. I would ask the same of you. If you will join me in that request, I would greatly appreciate it. I found this great little verse that I have over looked many times. Acts 9:11. “And the Lord said to him, (Ananias) Arise and go to the street called Straight, and inquire at the house of Judas for a man from Tarsus named Saul, for behold, he is praying.” At first look, this is a verse that gives the prophet Ananias the physical location of Saul. But, suddenly to me, I see the spiritual location of Saul, and the fact that God is listening to him! God knows his location and hears his prayers! What more do I need to know than that God is hearing me right where I am. He relates to my hurt and he hears my plea. The psalmist says that “He has placed my tears in a bottle.” NO, we do not want to fight this battle again. We’re still a little frayed from the first confrontation. But we are not alone. When our son Caleb was struggling with this terrible disease, God spoke to me in the middle of the night. In a small hospital room in Tyler, Texas, at 2:30 in the morning as I was singing and praying, God spoke to my heart. He didn’t say he was going to cure Caleb. He didn’t say He would make things come out alright. But with the most tender of mercies He said to me in my darkest hour, “I am here.” We stand in that same place over 25 years later and hear the same sweet refrain, “I am here.” And what more do I need to know than that the God of all creation hears me and is with me! Are we weary? Yes. Are we heavy burdened? Yes. So where do we go? To Him! Yes, this time it is cancer, but we go to Him for rest. Thank you for your prayers and please check back to see our progression.
WHAT’S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
So I’m at this great conference this week in Orlando, Florida. I set up my little keyboard and tuned my plastic guitar and I’m ready to be on the program. I had not received information as to who else would be on the list of singers and speakers. I get to work with some really great folks in what I do, and I’m surprised many times by who is there. So Dino, (the piano player, not the dinosaur) came out and started playing the song that shot him to fame, “Chariots of Fire.” He played for an hour and the crowd went crazy. Then a group by the name of “Signature Sound” performed for nearly two hours. They were really goooood! They closed with the majestic song, “Then Came the Morning,” where everybody stands to their feet and just praises the Lord. I mean it was dynamic and powerful and up-lifting and overwhelming. Then the organizer of the conference looks at me and says, “OK Crain, go wow ‘em”...... So I start of with my rousing rendition of “Deep and Wide,” followed by “This little Light of Mine.” I’m thinking, man, am I at the right conference? Surely I took a wrong turn at the beach. But you know, they sang with me and we worshiped the Lord together, we clapped our hands and shouted and we had a great time because we were all in one accord. The same spirit had brought us together. We had a bond. As we were tearing down sound equipment on the last night, one of the guys with Signature Sound said to me “This conference was great because we were all drinking from the same fountain.” He looked at me, smiled and said, “You know, the one that flows “Deep and Wide!” Was that a shot? Naa. Just a fact!
Deadliest Catch
So I’m watching the reality show “Deadliest Catch.” I’m not much of a fisherman. I fished for years until I discovered that you could BUY fish. But I’m really drawn in by this show. I’ve watched them pull up those crab pots over and over again, and still I am excited each time one is drawn on board. One of the captains, Phil Harris, died this last season while the series was being filmed. He apparently, by his own admission lived a fairly rough life. Each crab season, he was on his boat for much of the year while his kids were growing up without him at home. His life was spent focusing on the fishing, the equipment and the current sea conditions. That was the goal and reason for his existence. During his last few days of life he called his sons in to talk to them. He didn’t mention the crabs, the boat or the weather. Rather he apologized to them for not being the father he should have been. In his broken speech due to a stroke, he repeatedly told them that he loved them. You could sense the guilt that he carried for not being what he should have been to his family. Some things you can just never correct. We seem to rush our whole lives looking for some spectacular goal to reach. We push and sacrifice and in the end, we missed the whole purpose. I wept a little at the end of the show. I wept for Captain Phil. I wept for his sons. I wept for all of us who have been blinded to our calling and our responsibility and our joy of life. The so-called “brass ring” is not a tiny object out there in the future, but it surrounds us all of our lives. It’s an everyday experience that builds on itself to make life a wondrous journey. Jesus said, “I came to give you life and give it to the full”. What a great promise. Enjoy life to the full everyday. It’s your reality as a child of God!
The Boys Are Back
We’ve had a very busy summer and I can’t remember everyplace we’ve been. So I’m not totally sure where I had my “moment.” You know that “moment” that occasionally hits you like a bolt out of the sky. We might have been at the Waffle House in Georgia. I certainly can’t remember which Waffle House in Georgia because there are more Waffle Houses in Georgia than there are politicians with new resumes in Washington D.C. For instance we were once at a Waffle House where when we sat down and looked out the window and across the interstate highway there was another Waffle House. Across the street from there was a new Waffle House being built. When we got in our car to leave, the empty lot beside us had a sign that read, “Coming Soon, A New Waffle House Restaurant to serve you better!” So the possibilities of me having a “moment” in the Waffle House are astronomical! Anyway, there at the “House,” (I’m trying not to use Waffle again) wrestling with which syrup to use, the thought came to me that I suddenly missed my two sons, Josh and Caleb. It wasn’t just a little twinge, it was a full blown hurt. I can’t describe it. I tried to explain it to Betty, my wife, but couldn’t come close to what I was feeling. She thought I had gotten bad “pancakes,” (once again, trying not to use the word Waffle) My sons have been a great joy in my life. They grew up with us on the road together. When they were little, we had a lot of what we call “windshield time.” We’d be in that old motorhome in the middle of the night, traveling from one church to another talking about any and everything. Much of the world’s major problems were discussed and solved behind that windshield. For years they were part of the New Life Band with their mother and me. They sang and played guitars and ministered with us for most of their childhood. We would be in front of thousands of students, leading them in praise and worship of God our Father. I would look around and see my sons and wife on stage with me, to minister to so many people, and it was wondrous. It was a hoot! (Old people use words like hoot). Then came college and life in general and they headed their own way. We wanted that for them. Betty and I had devoted our lives to preparing them for that moment. But when you least expect it, BAM! It just hits that you miss them. Not so much the times you’ve shared, but just their personal presence. That’s what happened to me at the Waffle House in Georgia. I just had a moment of missing my boys that was overwhelming.
I’m not for sure what transpired that week when we got home between the boys and their mother. But suddenly there were plans for us three guys to have some guy time. I don’t know what Betty said or if maybe she even threatened them. Maybe she suggested something about them losing their inheritance. (Little do they know that ship sailed long ago. Twenty dollars in my bank account and a Timex watch that I got on sale in 1993 is not really much of a bargaining chip!) In any case, a time was set and a place designated for a “get together.” A monday through thursday in August at Lake Ouachita (Washita) in Arkansas. We met on a houseboat that monday for our retreat. When my boys were born, I had imagined some of the really neat things we would do together when they became men. I dreamed of hunting grizzly bear in Alaska, or riding Harley’s on the open road in Colorado, or climbing Mount Everest and seeing a panoramic view of the earth from so high up. So, what did we do on our holiday? Well, we did “hunt” for a Pizza Hut in Hot Springs. We did get to ride Jet Skis on a pond. As far as climbing goes, we did climb into some Lazy Boy’s and watched reruns from some of our favorite old sitcoms. (For some reason those shows were funnier with the boys.)
We talked about everything you can think of. It was like the windshield was in front of us again. We talked about politics, of which none of us understand. We talked about our wives, of which none of us understand. We discussed electricity, wind, milk, dogs, cats, (I know you have a cat Caleb, but dogs still rule!) We talked about church and the bible. We did a verbal book report on “Catcher in the Rye.” (You had to be there.) We talked about eagles, junk food, hell, football, basketball, (not hockey), sailing, and a bunch of other stuff. Oh yeah, and we ate.
We ate all the time for four straight days. I don’t know what we ate, just large quantities of food and food like substances. After a while we didn’t even look down, we just kept chewing and talking. Josh’s wife, Emily, called him seven times while were there. Every time she called, he was eating something. For four days she never understood a thing he said. I love Mars candy bars. The only place you can find them in this universe seems to be in Durango, Colorado at the Walmart store there. That’s where Caleb and his wife Nadene live! So Caleb brought a whole box of Mars bars with him. In the next two days there were so many Mars bars candy wrappers laying around, it looked like confetti at the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade. There were even candy wrappers in the bathroom. The BATHROOM! Think about it…or don’t. We laughed, we cried, we made noises, we yelled, (the yelling usually came in response to the noises!) And you know what? I had a hoot!! I just needed to be around them for a little while to get my balance back.
When Joshua and Caleb were little, I would come home sometimes late at night. They were snuggled into their beds after Betty had bathed them and put them to sleep. I remember, so many times, kneeling by both of their beds. The were so small and smelled like coconut from the soap their mom had used on them. I prayed for them there. I first prayed for their salvation, then for their health, then for their future wives. It was a sweet ritual for me when I couldn’t be there to tuck them in. On wednesday night, our last night at the boat, for some reason, I woke up very, very early in the morning. I was moved to go to the boys rooms and pray for them. As I knelt, I had this wonderful flood of memories from their childhood. They weren’t small like they used to be and they certainly didn’t smell like coconut! It was more of a pizza/meatloaf sandwich smell, but they were still my boys. I first prayed that they wouldn’t wake up while I was hovering over them. That would have been a little strange. Then I thanked God for their salvation, I thanked God for their health, and I thanked God for their wonderful wives that I had prayed for years ago. (I prayed good on that last one, didn’t I boys!) My heart just soared as I once again took them to the throne of God. I miss those little boys of long ago. They were so sweet and loving. But you know, I kind of like these new guys. Ever so often that sweetness and loving show up. It did for me that week. In John 3:4, John says, “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” Now I’m sure that ole John was referring to his young converts to the faith, but this really works well for me right now. (Sorry about the context abuse Josh!) My children love the Lord and what more could I ask. They are a joy to my life. My “moment” is over now and I am refreshed. Thanks boys for the time, it will be another wondrous memory for me. Maybe we can do it again sometime. Hey, let’s meet at Waffle House and plan it!